It’s Halloween once again and it’s the perfect time for conjuring some paranormal activity and enjoying a hell raiser of a fright night. I don’t know what you did last summer but I do know that it’s horror movie time. We can start playing with pour imaginations and put ourselves in the shoes of the protagonists and figure out what we would’ve done to survive the likes of Pennywise, Annabelle, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger. That would be a lot easier if we had a choice of what popular horror movie weapons we can use against these monsters.
Guns are the weapons of choice for many. Every prepper knows how important it is to have a stash of firearms and ammunition in case SHTF. In fact, you should seriously consider getting one (legally, of course) and undergoing the appropriate training on how to use guns responsibly.
However, if you’re dealing with zombies or monsters that are attracted to noise like the ones in A Quiet Place, these boomsticks would do more harm than good. For now, we’ll focus on bladed weapons and other unconventional horror movie weapons that you can use to protect yourself and your loved ones.
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Machete (Friday the 13th)
The machete is one of the most iconic horror movie weapons ever thanks to Jason Voorhees and his murdering ways. The Friday the 13th villain slashed his way to 11 horror films including one with fellow serial killer Freddy Krueger.
Despite the gruesome use of the machete, it is still considered one of the best survival tools around. It is used for a variety of tasks including bushwhacking, felling trees, and chopping limbs. It’s also used for digging, skinning game, opening cans, drilling, and shaving your beard.
Some machetes come with a serrated edge, which you can use for sawing. There’s usually a blunt part at the bottom of the blade, which you can use for hammering, striking ferro rods, and opening beer bottles.
Most machetes can do everything we’ve mentioned and more. But if you want one that can crack zombie heads in two, you need a full tang machete.
The Kershaw Camp 18 (1074) Camp Series Machete is exactly that. The full tang machete comes with an 18-inch fixed blade so you’re sure it won’t break from all the zombie hacking you might do.
Axe (American Psycho, The Shining)
Jack Torrance and Patrick Bateman, brilliantly played by Jack Nicholson and Christian Bale respectively, are two of the most terrifying villains in psychological horror film history. They also happen to use an axe.
The Cold Steel Trail Boss 27 Inch Axe can break down doors, chop wood, and kill zombies with its 6.5 inch drop gorged 1055 carbon steel hawk with 4.5 inch primary edge. The head and the American hickory handle measures a combined 26 inches.
Chainsaw (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, American Psycho, Evil Dead)
The good thing about owning a chainsaw is that you can use it for cutting down trees, clearing debris, and making ice sculptures. As a weapon, it has some advantages and disadvantages.
One advantage is it’s pretty loud and scary. Because of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, people haven’t viewed chainsaw the same way again. It’s earned the “deadly” label ever since Leatherface started sawing people in half in the popular horror flick. Once your chainsaw starts roaring, the threat will likely back away in fear.
Most chainsaws are long. That gives more distance between you and the threat as compared to a knife. Plus, the potential damage is horrific and that will likely rub through the mind of the perpetrator.
The problem with these horror movie weapons is they’re too heavy. One would wonder how the heck Leatherface was able to run after his victims, especially up the stairs. Also, old models of chainsaws need fuel to operate. Others need electricity. When you run out of both, they’ll only be for display.
BLACK+DECKER makes quality products and its 20V MAX 10-Inch Cordless Chainsaw is no different. Its oiling system lubricates the ball and chain without any hitch. You also don’t need particular tools to make adjustments thanks to its tool-free chain tensioning capability.
While the blade is only 10 inches, it’s still long enough to do some damage as a weapon of self defense. The good thing about it is its cordless, comes with a rechargeable battery, and is light enough. That means you can carry it anywhere it is needed.
Kitchen Knife (Halloween, Psycho, Chucky, Scream)
The unassuming kitchen knife has been a favorite weapon in many horror and slasher films. Jason Voorhees of the Halloween franchise is perhaps the most prominent villain to use the kitchen knife as a weapon of mass murder. Ghost Face in Scream also used a kitchen knife though favors a Buck 120. The most iconic use of the kitchen tool belongs to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, particularly in the shower scene where the character played by the beautiful Janet Leigh was stabbed to death.
There are better horror movie weapons that you can use to defend yourself against threats. But if you don’t have a stash of weapons for self-defense in your home, you can always depend on the kitchen knife since it’s just sitting there ready to spring into action.
Take the case of Brad Pitt’s character in World War Z. He used duct tape to attach a kitchen knife to the barrel of his Remington Model 700 BDL.
The Utopia Kitchen Knife is 8 inches of 100% stainless steel blade that’s 2.55 mm thick and rust and tarnish resistant. The Abs+430 handle gives you a good grip, which is vital if you’re using it for self-defense.
Kukri Knife (World War Z, Resident Evil)
Speaking of World War Z, the cute yet badass Israeli soldier (Daniella Kertesz) escorting Pitt carried what seemed like a kukri knife. It was the same knife used to chop off the bitten soldier’s hand keeping her from turning into one of them running and jumping zombies.
Milla Jovovich’s Alice also used a couple of kukri knives in Resident Evil. As you can see in the film, these knives work well against the undead. It’s also the favorite survival tool and weapon of the Gurkhas.
The kukri from Ontario Knife Company is one of the best-selling kukri knives on Amazon. The 12 inch blade is made of 1095 carbon steel and comes with a non-reflective black finish. The G-10 handle features grooves for the fingers that lets you grip it better. This particular knife weighs just 18 ounces.
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Sickle (Children of the Corn)
A sickle is a bladed tool used mainly for harvesting grains and cutting forage. In the mind of Stephen King, however, it’s the perfect horror movie weapon. In Children of the Corn, the young residents of Gatlin, Nebraska sacrifices all the adults to satisfy the deity named “He Who Walks Behind the Rows” to ensure a bountiful harvest.
A sickle would not only be pretty handy if you have a rice field, you can also use it to scare away threats and defend yourself if it comes to it.
The Zenport Aluminum Handle K310 Brush Clearing Sickle is perfect for getting rid of thick forage such as tough vines and weeds. Its 9-inch hooked blade is made of carbon steel while the handle is aluminum with a rubber grip.
Flamethrower (Aliens, Night of the Creeps, Overlord, The Thing, Phantasm II, Puppet Master 2)
Flamethrowers were used in the past world wars because they’re effective in taking out enemies by the dozen, especially those hiding in bunkers and caves. They’re so deadly that the United States self-imposed a ban on the use of flamethrowers for war.
This didn’t stop Elon Musk from making his own $500 flamethrowers, though. In 2018, the Tesla and The Boring Company big boss announced and later released his propane-fueled flamethrowers to those who pre-ordered.
New York has since filed a bill criminalizing recreational use of flamethrowers. If you’re one of those who pre-ordered, you can at least keep it safely hidden knowing you have one badass horror film weapon to use against any threat when SHTF. Ooohh… I can just imagine myself burning those darn alien babies to crisp with an M240 Flamethrower ala-Ellen Ripley in Aliens.
(Related: Are You Ready For An Alien Invasion)
You’ll be hard-pressed to find an M240 readily available in the market but you can get something simpler like the Hot Max 500G Big Max 500,000 BTU Propane Torch.
Razor (Sweeney Todd)
If the star of the film is called the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, you’re definitely in for a scare fest. While the slasher film also happens to be a musical, the movie did not disappoint in terms of gore. Serial killer Sweeney Todd, played by acting genius Johnny Depp, uses his straight razor to slash the throats of his victims.
The key to using a straight razor as a weapon is surprise. Like what the barber did, he used his razor when his victims least expected it. Of course, we’re not telling you how to become a serial killer. We’re just saying you can scare off a threat with a razor that’s hidden in your pocket. Plus, the straight razor can be a concealed and lethal weapon in trained hands.
The Utopia Care Straight Edge Razor sports a handsome black matte finish, which covers the stainless steel body. The back of the blade is designed to give you a comfortable grip when shaving. Noobs can check this video out to learn how to shave with a straight razor. As a weapon, you need to learn the different ways to hold and use it in a way that the brittle blade won’t break.
Zombie films are scary even if the funny duo of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are the main characters. That said, Pegg is a badass with his now iconic cricket bat in Shaun of the Dead. But while Shaun managed to survive the zombie apocalypse with the help of his improvised weapon along with a few guns, cue sticks, and vinyl records, the cricket bat has its disadvantages.
It can hurt when used as a blunt weapon but cricket bats are designed more for control. That’s why it’s flat. Plus, it’s made of wood, which can break from continuous use on zombie skulls.
The baseball bat is a better weapon. Just ask Merrill Hess (Joaquin Phoenix) in Signs, Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) in Zombieland, and Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) in The Walking Dead, which is technically not a zombie movie. They’re making one now about Rick Grimes so… we’ll just leave this here.
The Wilson Sporting Goods Vapor USA Baseball Bat is good chose for your batting and self defense needs. It’s got great length at 29 inches while the handle is 7/8 inch, which is comfortable to grip. The whole bat is made of one whole piece of 7-series alloy. The handle, meanwhile, is wrapped in durable synthetic leather.
(Related: What Would I Do to Survive Riots)
Other Horror Movie Weapons
Some popular horror movie weapons that aren’t at par with the rest when it comes to effectiveness include Krueger’s clawed glove and the hook from Candyman and I Know What You Did Last Summer films. Both are effectively scary slasher movie weapons but in real life, they’re quite difficult to use for self defense.
Any potential threat will probably cower in fear at the sight of these iconic movie props but when it comes down to it, they’re probably not as effective as say a machete.
(Related: Ultimate Gear to Survive A Zombie Apocalypse)
The clawed gloves, for example, can be effective in close combat but no one is fast enough to take the gloves out, wear one on each hand, and then strike a Black Panther pose. Provided you already have them on, what if the suspect has a gun?
As for the hook, you need to angle your attack so that the pointy tip does some damage. This is quite difficult compared to using a knife for stabbing or a machete for hacking.
Nail guns are also common in slasher flicks but more so in zombie movies. In Evil Dead, Eric shoots a possessed Natalie with a nail gun to no avail. It only stopped her from attacking David and bludgeon Eric with a crowbar instead.
In real life however, nail guns are not that effective as a weapon. As Ryan Reynolds stressed to Cinema Blend, these popular horror movie weapons lose velocity beyond three feet. He knows this because he actually tried to use one as a weapon while filming The Hitman’s Bodyguard.
Still, if you want to have your own nail gun for, you know, repair and DIYs, you should consider the WEN 61720 3/4-Inch to 2-Inch 18-Gauge Brad Nailer. The magazine holds 100 brads, which should be enough to at least hold off your attacker.
Again, these horror movie weapons should be meant for self defense. These are tools created for specific purposes but are given new meanings in life by writers and filmmakers. As such, be responsible when you use them.
If you have suggestions on what other everyday things that can be used as weapons, please feel free to share with everyone else. Follow Gentleman Pirate Club, as well. There are tons of valuable information there that you can use in defending yourself.